Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Falling Asleep in Church

This past Sunday I fell asleep in church, to make it more interesting I woke myself due to my own snoring. I had been fighting sleep and losing throughout the meeting. My head was bobbing up and down like a "Bobble Head" on the dashboard of an old farm truck on a bumpy dirt road. I noticed my friend and his wife who were sitting in the pew directly in front of me giggling to each other and at the same time heard stifled chuckles from the pew behind me. I glanced sideways at my wife who not only gave em the "stink eye" but a "you are a disrespectful, irreverent slob and I am embarrassed to be seen in public with you" look.
It was not a matter of being bored by the speaker, I just couldn't help it. Initially I felt a twinge of embarrassment. After all it is bad enough to fall asleep in church but to snore loud enough to wake yourself up in church was bumping it up a little too high. I then began to think, maybe this wasn't all that big a deal. I am in fact over 50, have gray hair and a couple for grandchildren. When viewed from the proper perspective there is no shame for a person at my stage in life falling asleep in church. Indeed it is an expected behavior and will likely increase in frequency the older I get. I have arrived! My wife asked me why I even bother attending church when I sleep through it at least half of the time. My answer: First if I sleep in church I do not have to waste time napping at home, second by sleeping in church I provide much needed comic relief for other members of the congregation, and third I am modeling expected behavior for the younger generations. Sweet dreams.


George said...

Snoring so loud you wake up is hereditary

John said...

Ya I do that all the time we should sit on the same pew and no one would know which of is snoring.