Thursday, July 29, 2010

Rattle Trap Road Warrior

Recently I completed a 700 mile trip driving alone in my daughter's 1990s Suzuki Sidekick POC. No air conditioning, no cruise control, and temperatures in the high 90s.
The car was loaded to the roof with pink storage tubs and large black trash bags. You know, the typical "girl returning home from college on semester break" stuff. With the windows down the fluttering trash bags made it sound like I had a car full of bats all flapping their wings behind my head. I had to drive with the windows open due to the extreme heat, if I had failed to keep the windows down I would have arrived at my destination resembling a 250 lb rotisserie chicken at the Wal-Mart Deli.
The noise from the wind and rattling trash bags by the time I arrived home my ears were ringing. I do not recall my ear ringing this loud since I attended the 1978 Ted Nugent "GONZO LIVE" tour Day on The Green at the Oakland Coliseum. It took weeks for the smell of pot smoke to wash out of my clothes and hair and about the same length of time for my ears to stop ringing.
As I drove down the road I kept thinking what do I do if this POC breaks down on me? I came to the conclusion that the best course of action would be to set the beast on fire and then stand by the side of the road, look distraught while wringing my hands and muttering "oh no my daughters car and all of her worldly belongings, u p in smoke….whatever shall I do". I would then call the insurance company, have the remains disposed of and hitch a ride the rest of the way home. Just a side note between Columbus and Billings I witnessed a family of four standing on the side of the road looking at the burned out shell of a motor home as the fire department finished putting the fire out. They were having a much worse day than I, nothing like burning down the motor home to ruin the family vacation (lesson: Don't ride your breaks).
I was very glad to be home. The things we do for our kids.

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