How to be a Grandparent

I was looking for books at the local library last night and found one titled "How to be the Favorite Grandparent". The title shocked me. I wasn't looking for anything on grandparents or grand parenting. I did know one needed a book to learn to be a grand parent, nor did I know there was an actual competition between competing grandparents for the love and favor of their grand children. First let me explain, this is in no way meant to reveal that any of my children are expecting a child at this point in time. I do look forward to the day when I will be a grandparent but when that happens fortunately is not my decision. One of my younger brothers, (no not my little brother, I have no older brothers only younger brothers and they are all bigger than I am so I cannot really refer tot hem as "my little brother") fairly recently became a grandfather. He said it had been a major goal in his life, partly due to the fact that his/our grandfathers both died when we were relatively young and our father died before any of us had children of their own.
Jim (my brother) said before his grandson was born that he was going to be the best grandparent ever, I asked how he thought this would happen and he said he was going to let his grandchildren do whatever they wanted at his house and give them money. I think he is on to something.

I do have some recollections of both of my grand fathers. They are good memories for the most part. They were both vastly different from each other and I remember enjoying being with both of them. They both died when I was fairly young so I did not have much of a chance to get a handle on their faults. Grandpa Jim (maternal grandfather) was a tall, relatively quiet man, who liked history. He was always calm and gentle, this was opposite from my grandmother who was stern, verbally abusive and generally not a very happy person. My main memory of my grandfather Jim was a walk we took to a small store near my home, we walked around the store hand in hand as he waited for me to purchase a piece of candy. We then walked home talking as I ate my piece of candy. My Grandpa George (paternal grandfather) was a big, wide shouldered man, not terribly tall but he had a bit of swagger about him, he was loud and for the most part good tempered. My grandmother was small, a good cook and relatively pleasant when I was younger. I remember getting on Grandpa George's train when I was a boy. He was an engineer for the Southern Pacific and Santa Fe Railroad. Needless to say I had an interest in trains as a young boy.

It is interesting that I have a similar goal to my brother Jim. I want to be a grandfather someday. I think his idea of being permissive with the grand children and giving them things is a good one. I intend to teach them important things like "pull my finger", how to bait a hook and catch fish, and to enjoy the outdoors to name just a few. I hope I can be a good grandfather like my father-in-law has been for my own children and his other grand children. He loves them all and they have no doubt that he does. It is fun to watch his eyes twinkle with joy and occasionally fill with tears as he watches them. I will always wonder what it would be like to watch my own father be a grandpa but find great satisfaction with the great job my father-in-law does as a grandparent. My in-laws have never been blessed with a great deal of material wealth but in the eternal scheme of things they are perhaps the wealthiest people I know. My dad used to tell me that "people are more important than things" that is an idea which can be lost in the day to day struggle to make a life in this world but remains true none the less. Like any good grandparent I anticipate thinking that my grandchildren are the smartest, best looking little buggers on the planet and making certain that everyone else knows I think so. It is not just about families it is all about families. Our greatest joys and greatest sadness come as part of being in a family.

One of my bother-in-laws has recently moved in with use as he starts a new job and waits for him home to sell so he can move his family to be with him. I can tell he misses his wife and children. Perhaps being separated from family members even if only for a short and then being reunited gives us an idea of how the final reunion will be with those who have passed beyond this life before us will be. I suppose at some point I will get to see my father be a grandfather and I will have a chance to get to know my own grandfathers who died when I was very young. What a day that will be.