Time Flies

It has been a busy month. I do not think it will slow down much until after "the wedding" next week. I had the chance a not long ago to attend a Daddy Daughter event at the church. My daughter Mary was pretty excited about it and continually reminded me of the up coming event so I would not forget. Upon arrival myself and a couple of other Dads were escorted into a room obviously decorated by 8 year old girls. My daughter showed me where I was to sit. While we waited for the rest of the fathers to arrive I watched how excited and proud the girls were as they sat with their fathers. Obviously this was a big deal for them. I felt some anxiety for the two girls who stood anxiously in the hall waiting for their fathers to arrive. I imagined that they were worried that something would hold them up or perhaps they had forgotten. An expression of extreme relief came across their faces as their fathers came down the hall.

Last week the elementary school Mary attends was having their "doughnuts for Dads" deal. This along with "muffins for Moms" has been a long standing tradition at the school. Mary was pretty excited about having me go to the event, I certain some if the excitement had to do with free doughnuts. I watched the other children with their fathers getting doughnuts, milk, juice or coffee that morning. The children were just excited to spend time with their Dads. Both of these events did not take much time out of my busy life but they meant a great deal to Mary and to me.

Last weekend Michael tested for his red belt black stripe. He did very well and now is faced with learning some more forms and weapon techniques so he can test for his black belt in the next few months. I am amazed at how much he has grown in self confidence since beginning Kyukido. It has been good for him. He has a tournament coming up in two weeks. I asked him if he was going to compete in "forms" and "sparing" both. He said he wanted to do both. I asked him if he was ready to take some possible head shots in the "sparing" competition. He replied that he was. This is not the answer he would have given me two years ago. When he started, he wouldn't even spar in his first tournament. Now that he is eighteen and high enough in rank, blows and kicks to the head are allowed in the tournament sparing competitions. As a father I have my concerns that he'll take a hard round house kick to the side of the head and in spite wearing the required headgear, he will be wearing a diaper and drooling in his soup and living at my house for the rest of his life. I really do not think this will be the outcome. He is a pretty gutsy fighter and can handle himself. It is just that Dad thing, you know, unrealistic worrying about your kids. He will graduate from high school this year and in a year may well be in the MTC starting his mission. Time seems to go by faster the older I get.

Time however does seem to move at a crawl during this season of year in Wyoming. The weather is sporadically warm and sunny one day and cold and snowing the next. When the ground isn't frozen, it is muddy. The fishing typically sucks, you can only hunt rabbits (Mary will not let me, bunnies are too cute, and besides I've never been much for rabbit hunting). Wild turkey season starts in April which is too far away. I could tie some flies or reload some ammunition or look at related catalogs. This however, only lends itself to prolonged periods of day dreaming which are frustrating at best. Author Patrick McManus is also not a fan of the season. I guess that puts me in good company. I think I will go through the outdoor gear and bee keeping catalogs I have and do some day dreaming. I'd better get a new eye glass prescription first.

Don't Forget Valentine's Day

O.K, so February began to be an important month for me when I was a kid in elementary school due to the fact that in my school everyone in the class received a valentine from everyone else in the class regardless. That way there would be no hurt feelings, I liked this because I was an odd looking kid with funny eyes and chances are I would not have scored many valentines otherwise. We always spent time decorating old shoe boxes or tissue boxes with our names on them so our valentines could be stuffed into the slot in the top we had cut with blunt scissors. I could relate to Charlie Brown each year when he didn't get any valentines, my own insecurity was that if it weren't for the class policy of a valentine card for everyone I would be holding an empty box at the end of the day. It did not help that my younger brother Jim always insisted that I looked like Charlie Brown, that was when we (like all the other kids we knew) were sporting those parent inflicted buzzed hair cuts with the custom nicks and gouges. At the time I refused to accept this but now looking at those pictures, dang if he wasn't right I looked like Charlie Brown's ugly twin brother. The other great thing about Valentine's Day when you are a kid is the candy. Yeah you know the hearts with words on them like "EAT ME", "MY LOVE", or "SO SWEET". They tasted a bit like tooth paste.

Other great things happened in February for me. Two of my children were born in February. My first child a daughter and my first son were both born in February. I remember taking Melinda into the hospital in a snow storm driving our 1974 Dodge Club Cab Custom 100 pick up truck. Eighteen plus hours of labor, and an episiotomy later Kristine was born. Life would never be the same. I was in a state of stupefied amazement, my wife never looked prettier as she held our child. I could not believe the contortions she had just gone through to give birth. I still can't fully appreciate why women have more than one child, Melinda has done it 6 times, it is most definitely a woman thing. While sitting in that hospital room the next day, Valentine's Day, a question shocked me out of my state of bliss, "So what did you get me for Valentine's Day honey?" my wife asked. I thought to myself "Holy crap!" I'd forgotten about Valentine's Day, with all of the excitement of the birth, being a new dad etc. I had not given a thought to a card, candy or flowers, nothing for my wife. The only response I could think of was "You got a baby what more do you want?" This went over about as well a truck load of pig manure at a 4th of July picnic. She acknowledged that Kristine was much better than anything I, her hopelessly non-romantic husband could ever come up with in a million years even if I had been personally coached in "How to be a romantic guy school" by Saint Valentine himself or Fabio (Fabio was big in those days).

The best thing that ever happened to me in February was getting married. Melinda and I tied the knot on February 11th at the Idaho Falls Temple, 26 years ago. It is a day I shall never forget. It has been one heck of a ride ever since. I do not regret any of it, well except perhaps forgetting her birthday one time and oh yeah there was that one Valentine's Day, and then the time I forgot to ... you get the picture. I remain in love with Melinda and while 26 years ago I did not imagine it was possible to love her more than I did then, I do love her more now. So about now you're wondering what is this dork going to do for his wife for this anniversary and Valentine's Day. Truthfully I am not certain, it is not for lack of thinking about it.

I was at Wal Mart a couple of days ago doing the grocery shopping, my brother-in-law John was with me, we saw two teenage girls admiring a display of large over stuffed heart shaped pillows and giant teddy bears talking about how this one was "so cute" obviously hoping beyond hope that the young lads they had a crush on would see them fondling the pillows and stuffed bears and would get the idea to buy them one. I approached and said "can I ask your advice about something" they smiled and humored me. "Do you think I should get my wife one of these for Valentine's Days". They both assured me that one of the large teddy bears was a guaranteed winner. I suggested that if I gave her a large teddy bear she may like it more than me and I didn't want that. The teenagers replied "no she won't", but I was pretty sure that she didn't want a giant teddy bear. My eight year old daughter over heard my recounting of the story to my wife and while I was putting her to bed she offered "Dad I think you should get Mom the giant teddy bear, she won't get rid of you for the bear, and us kids don't need to worry because she loves us too much". I now know what to get for my eight year old daughter for Valentine's Day. I won't get her lingerie because she has always insisted that lingerie is a gift for the man not the woman. I don't think the reverse is true. I doubt she would be impressed if I bought her a pair of men's boxers with hearts on them that said "Eat Me" for me to wear as a gift to her. The more clothes I have on at this age the better just trust me. So I guess we'll see what I can come up with for Melinda.

To all you in love people out there I hope you have a great Valentine's Day.

How to be a Grandparent

I was looking for books at the local library last night and found one titled "How to be the Favorite Grandparent". The title shocked me. I wasn't looking for anything on grandparents or grand parenting. I did know one needed a book to learn to be a grand parent, nor did I know there was an actual competition between competing grandparents for the love and favor of their grand children. First let me explain, this is in no way meant to reveal that any of my children are expecting a child at this point in time. I do look forward to the day when I will be a grandparent but when that happens fortunately is not my decision. One of my younger brothers, (no not my little brother, I have no older brothers only younger brothers and they are all bigger than I am so I cannot really refer tot hem as "my little brother") fairly recently became a grandfather. He said it had been a major goal in his life, partly due to the fact that his/our grandfathers both died when we were relatively young and our father died before any of us had children of their own.
Jim (my brother) said before his grandson was born that he was going to be the best grandparent ever, I asked how he thought this would happen and he said he was going to let his grandchildren do whatever they wanted at his house and give them money. I think he is on to something.

I do have some recollections of both of my grand fathers. They are good memories for the most part. They were both vastly different from each other and I remember enjoying being with both of them. They both died when I was fairly young so I did not have much of a chance to get a handle on their faults. Grandpa Jim (maternal grandfather) was a tall, relatively quiet man, who liked history. He was always calm and gentle, this was opposite from my grandmother who was stern, verbally abusive and generally not a very happy person. My main memory of my grandfather Jim was a walk we took to a small store near my home, we walked around the store hand in hand as he waited for me to purchase a piece of candy. We then walked home talking as I ate my piece of candy. My Grandpa George (paternal grandfather) was a big, wide shouldered man, not terribly tall but he had a bit of swagger about him, he was loud and for the most part good tempered. My grandmother was small, a good cook and relatively pleasant when I was younger. I remember getting on Grandpa George's train when I was a boy. He was an engineer for the Southern Pacific and Santa Fe Railroad. Needless to say I had an interest in trains as a young boy.

It is interesting that I have a similar goal to my brother Jim. I want to be a grandfather someday. I think his idea of being permissive with the grand children and giving them things is a good one. I intend to teach them important things like "pull my finger", how to bait a hook and catch fish, and to enjoy the outdoors to name just a few. I hope I can be a good grandfather like my father-in-law has been for my own children and his other grand children. He loves them all and they have no doubt that he does. It is fun to watch his eyes twinkle with joy and occasionally fill with tears as he watches them. I will always wonder what it would be like to watch my own father be a grandpa but find great satisfaction with the great job my father-in-law does as a grandparent. My in-laws have never been blessed with a great deal of material wealth but in the eternal scheme of things they are perhaps the wealthiest people I know. My dad used to tell me that "people are more important than things" that is an idea which can be lost in the day to day struggle to make a life in this world but remains true none the less. Like any good grandparent I anticipate thinking that my grandchildren are the smartest, best looking little buggers on the planet and making certain that everyone else knows I think so. It is not just about families it is all about families. Our greatest joys and greatest sadness come as part of being in a family.

One of my bother-in-laws has recently moved in with use as he starts a new job and waits for him home to sell so he can move his family to be with him. I can tell he misses his wife and children. Perhaps being separated from family members even if only for a short and then being reunited gives us an idea of how the final reunion will be with those who have passed beyond this life before us will be. I suppose at some point I will get to see my father be a grandfather and I will have a chance to get to know my own grandfathers who died when I was very young. What a day that will be.