My youngest daughter called her mother today from school asking if she could come to pick her up because she didn't feel well. Melinda obliged, and as she and Mary were walking down the hall to leave, Mary began to barf. After leaving three large pools of noxious liquid on the hall carpet Melinda managed to get Mary into the restroom to finish the job. Melinda nonchalantly mentioned to the school secretary that there was some vomit in the hall. Without flinching the secretary said "Yeah that is going around, I'll call the custodian".
Memories from my own elementary school days came flooding back as Melinda told me the story over the phone. I can smell it now, vomit and that powder stuff the custodian would sprinkle on it before he cleaned it up. I remember at lunch one day at Crow Elementary school when one of the Pitch kids who had recently begun to use smokeless tobacco and put some into a fellow classmate's plate of stew. This resulted in an instantaneous violent eruption of projectile chunk blowing. Sympathetic puking began almost immediately by students sitting near by. Not unlike the pie eating scene from the movie "Stand by Me". On one occasion I remember feeling a little green but was determined not to throw up because it is such an unpleasant experience. I was sitting in my desk on the top floor of the school listening to the teacher and trying very hard not to blow. It was a warm spring day and the room felt stuffy and uncomfortable. A quarter sized amount of stomach contents made it through and onto my desk. I looked around nobody seemed to notice, only fifteen minutes left in class and I could make a break for it. Unexpectedly the teacher stopped talking, looked at me and asked, "John are you feeling sick?" I remember thinking "what a stupid question", "No I feel great that is why there is a small pool of partially digested food on my desk". I began to respond, all that came out was "Ralph! Aaarrfff, sploosh!" the torrential flow hit the desk top and spilled onto the floor. I felt as if the Devil himself was being pulled kicking and screaming from my stomach. My teacher looked at me crossly and said, "Get your things and go home", there was none of this be certain to stop at the office to sign out or to call your parents to be certain somebody was home etc. In those days it was pretty much a no-nonsense approach. Virtually everybody's mother was at home and there was no question that I could walk the half mile home, so what if I had the dry heaves and was hallucinating. I didn't worry too much about what my classmates would think, they had all done something similar and besides the girl I had a crush on was not at school that day due to an upset stomach.
My daughter commented on the ride home, "Well that was embarrassing", my wife attempted to calm her fears said well nobody saw you do it except one third grade boy. Fortunately it was not the third grade boy she has a crush on, unfortunately he is a third grade boy and third grade boys like to talk about stuff like barfing. Her only hope is that he gets sick also.
So as the holiday season is upon us, try not to over do it with the food and drink. If you have to vomit try to do it in private. Trying to hold it never works and as Shriek says "Better out then in". One other thing for those of you who consume alcohol to the point of barfing, what is with that? It certainly can't be much fun hugging the base of a toilet puking your guts out.
Memories from my own elementary school days came flooding back as Melinda told me the story over the phone. I can smell it now, vomit and that powder stuff the custodian would sprinkle on it before he cleaned it up. I remember at lunch one day at Crow Elementary school when one of the Pitch kids who had recently begun to use smokeless tobacco and put some into a fellow classmate's plate of stew. This resulted in an instantaneous violent eruption of projectile chunk blowing. Sympathetic puking began almost immediately by students sitting near by. Not unlike the pie eating scene from the movie "Stand by Me". On one occasion I remember feeling a little green but was determined not to throw up because it is such an unpleasant experience. I was sitting in my desk on the top floor of the school listening to the teacher and trying very hard not to blow. It was a warm spring day and the room felt stuffy and uncomfortable. A quarter sized amount of stomach contents made it through and onto my desk. I looked around nobody seemed to notice, only fifteen minutes left in class and I could make a break for it. Unexpectedly the teacher stopped talking, looked at me and asked, "John are you feeling sick?" I remember thinking "what a stupid question", "No I feel great that is why there is a small pool of partially digested food on my desk". I began to respond, all that came out was "Ralph! Aaarrfff, sploosh!" the torrential flow hit the desk top and spilled onto the floor. I felt as if the Devil himself was being pulled kicking and screaming from my stomach. My teacher looked at me crossly and said, "Get your things and go home", there was none of this be certain to stop at the office to sign out or to call your parents to be certain somebody was home etc. In those days it was pretty much a no-nonsense approach. Virtually everybody's mother was at home and there was no question that I could walk the half mile home, so what if I had the dry heaves and was hallucinating. I didn't worry too much about what my classmates would think, they had all done something similar and besides the girl I had a crush on was not at school that day due to an upset stomach.
My daughter commented on the ride home, "Well that was embarrassing", my wife attempted to calm her fears said well nobody saw you do it except one third grade boy. Fortunately it was not the third grade boy she has a crush on, unfortunately he is a third grade boy and third grade boys like to talk about stuff like barfing. Her only hope is that he gets sick also.
So as the holiday season is upon us, try not to over do it with the food and drink. If you have to vomit try to do it in private. Trying to hold it never works and as Shriek says "Better out then in". One other thing for those of you who consume alcohol to the point of barfing, what is with that? It certainly can't be much fun hugging the base of a toilet puking your guts out.
1 comment:
yum, time for dinner.I think it's chili!
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